Purple And Nasty In Color...

They shut off the electricity today.. And for a sad minute I considered dropping the kids off someplace where I know they'd be loved dearly and well taken care of and looking for a peaceful place to die... This, of course, was a result of what I believe to be pmdd.. Chris keeps telling me I have it. I fit all the symptoms except the headache... until recently. Now I have those, too. Is it psychosomatic? No idea.
I, honestly think it's stress, but here's what I found on webmd.com:

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). The symptoms of PMDD are similar to those of PMS, but are severe enough to interfere with work, social activities, and relationships.

How Common Is PMDD?

PMDD occurs in 2-10% of menstruating women. Women with a personal or family history of depression or postpartum depression are at greater risk for developing PMDD.

What Causes PMDD?

As with PMS, the exact cause of PMDD is not known. Most researchers, however, believe PMDD is brought about by the hormonal changes related to the menstrual cycle. Recent studies have shown a connection between PMDD and low levels of serotonin, a chemical in the brain that helps transmit nerve signals. Certain brain cells that use serotonin as a messenger are involved in controlling mood, attention, sleep and pain. Therefore, chronic changes in serotonin levels can lead to PMDD symptoms.

What Are the Symptoms of PMDD?

The symptoms of PMDD can include any of the following:

• Mood swings
• Depressed mood or feelings of hopelessness
• Marked anger, increased interpersonal conflicts
• Tension and anxiety
• Irritability
• Decreased interest in usual activities
• Difficulty concentrating
• Fatigue
• Change in appetite
• Feeling out of control or overwhelmed
• Sleep problems
• Physical problems, such as bloating

Here's the link for more info: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder

If you have it they have prescriptioned birth control you can take to correct it- if you're lucky enough to have the money to pay for it, or insurance.

Anyway- we figured it out. Not before I had a chance to panic to family in PA & create some drama.. ugh.. More governt help. Makes me feel like a loser. But I'm doing what I can as much as I can and I feel like that counts for something. I'm trying to keep looking at things on the longterm to keep from stressing out. Once in a while it's hard to filter out the ANTs(I learned this term from a televised seminar on mental health solutions on MD Public Television, which is also where I discovered herbal alternatives to psychotropic medication, it means Automatic Negative Thoughts).

Not interested, unfortunately, in the posting subjects on cafe mom.
Soon, though. I thought I'd have internet access in the new private home that I'm working in, but alas, I was wrong.

I do like it, however. My client is a sweetheart. The poor dear, though, he's been stressed as his favorite staff member is in the hospital and the only two days I've been there so far he slept almost all day. No worries, though, it gave me a chance to get caught up w/ my library book on the celts and become enamored with the computer game; MahJong Quest.. holy lord is that addictive. And fun. I have high scores on almost every level I've played and the puzzles are challenging. I taught myself how to play- it's a tad different than the regular mah jong.

Check it out! http://www.iwin.com/categories/games/free

They have a lot of fun stuff on there. My last game addiction was peggle. That's a variation of pinball. Also very fun.

That's all for today. Hopefully more soon & not more than a week this time.