So Glad I Could Make It

The past couple of days have been beautiful, despite family drama due to Thanksgiving and much inconsideration between two people.

Chris cooked Thanksgiving dinner in just over 2 hours yesterday. I told him his mom would be proud. It feels good to know there are leftovers in the fridge to feed us for the next few and we spent $51 total on Thanksgiving. We spent it just the four of us in the living room all sitting at the coffee table together. The kids loved it. Especially the pumpkin pie.

Today we watched movies all day while Chris slept, since last night was his Monday. We watched Willow & Labyrinth and Wallace and Gromit in The Curse of the Were-rabbit. We colored pictures and danced. I caught Lylith doing yoga today.

Taven has taken to using his potty over night and hasn't used a diaper in over a week. Lylith is still on the fence about whether or not she wants to use the potty and because we have awful carpet, I am at peace with that until this week when I will be devoting all time during the day to teaching her how to use the potty. I am considering getting her her own potty chair for her room for when she can control her temper.. 'cause otherwise the walls will be painted with poo, she's quite the viper.

Last week I wanted so badly to quit my job, I could hardly stand it. I was convinced I was going to write for one of these websites offering pay to amateurs and live off of that. After a week of thinking it over I am glad I am still here. I am disappointed that it is not as easy as I had anticipated to make money off of such things, but I have a genuine concern for my client.. he has had so much upheaval lately. I would feel awful if I had to contribute to that any more than I already have.

I have had to cancel two appointments in the last few weeks for respite care. Both were nearly an hour's drive and it just isn't worth what my pay has been reduced to- not to take two hours out of my day for driving that I will need for school. I hate it because I am getting work and essentially turning it down but it just isn't fitting in where I need it to.

This week I am not so pessimistic. This week I have a new perspective.


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. (=

emit to relieve encumerance

Pompous. As you so hate, so you are.

To look down on my passion, ignore my epiphany, chortle supremely at my fascination...

Your mind will fester in bordem,

For you are satiated by few senses.

Rot. For your spirit slumbers.


Perchance, you will open your mind's eye in another present and find yourself quite engaged.

Redline, Mechanic Nightmare, WV

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I used to have a big, beautiful Ram van 1500. It was maroon and it was spacious and convenient. It ran great unless the weather was inclement(read: there was snow on the ground). Eventually we needed repairs on the brake lines. I know nothing of mechanics and was looking for something cheap and close.

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I went to Redline in Harpers Ferry, WV, because they were the closest and the cheapest. It turns out they were the cheapest for a reason. I needed oil and brake fluid put in when I went there. My husband watched the mechanic put oil in the brake fluid reservoir and another mechanic stop him and inform him. When all was "right" we drove off to run some errands and were quickly back at the mechanic because of the smell and the fact that applying the brakes was LITERALLY burning my leg.

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This persisted another time, until we decided a Chrystler dealer might be our only hope. Come to find out this van we still owed $900 on now has an entirely corroded brake system because of the motor oil mishap and to fix it would be over 3 grand. Needless to say we relied on others for transportation for about 6 months. It was a horrifically trying 6 months at that.

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Quick, Cheap, Easy & Healthy Recipe:

Chicken & Veggie Alfredo:

Serves 10:
2 cans of chicken, white meat
1 jar alfredo
1 carton chicken broth (preferably reduced sodium and fat free)
1 bag of egg noodles
1 bag frozen california medley (carrots, broccoli & cauliflower)
Pizza & Pasta seasoning to taste

All the above ingredients purchased @ Aldi grocery for under $10.

1. Bring carton of chicken broth to boil in large pan
2. Add egg noodle
3. Wait 3 minutes and add california blend
4. Open & drain water from canned chicken, open alfredo
5. When noodles and veggies are soft (al dente) add chicken and alfredo
6. Add Pizza & Pasta seasoning
7. Cover and simmer for 5 minutes.

The end result is delicious and nutritious. I come up with such things regularly, figured I may as well keep a record and share the wealth. (;

Beauty School Drop Out

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Okay, so I did drop out after attending beauty school on 3 separate occasions, it is true, but beauty and health go hand-in-hand and I have become obsessed with staying healthy.

What is the usual argument? We're going to die anyway, might as well be happy? Are you happy feeling bloated and tired all the time? Maybe you are. I wasn't. Even if you do not care to exercise you should get some kind of activity in and put healthy things in your mouth when you eat and take care of your skin, hair, nails and teeth.

We're animals! We have built in standards for mates even if we are not conscious of them. If for no other reason than to attract Mr/Mrs. Right, you should take care of yourself. I like to be admired, that is a motivation, but I also have a husband to look good for and kids to stick around for.

In this blog, I wanted to lend some of my expertise in the beauty world to whomever might be reading. If you like the color and texture processes, make sure you are paying attention to the over-all health of your hair. From someone with damaged hair, it is terrifying to have your hair start breaking off and falling out! From the opposite end, it is terrifying to do a chemical process on someone claiming to have basically virgin hair and have it start breaking or falling out.
Do not lie, people! These people want to make you look and feel beautiful, they are not there to judge you. If you are concerned they will tell you they are uncomfortable doing it, do you not think they might have good reason? There are steps you can take, though, to ensure the health of your hair. For example heavy conditioning treatments and keratin shampoo: http://health-and-beauty.become.com/keratin-shampoo

I have never been much for any product that makes my hair stick to its self unless it was a special occasion. Call me a hippie, I like the natural, wind-blown look. I hate the high maintenance, also! I prefer a silicon-based leave in conditioner for before and sometimes after the flat iron. If you use a hair spray, mousse or leave-in conditioner, though, it will gunk up your beautiful locks and deplete them of shine over time. The best way to prevent this is to use a clarifying shampoo every week or couple of weeks. You're looking for something that is going to strip your hair of anything left behind by constant product use. Tea Tree is a GREAT product for this. Tea tree shampoo: http://health-and-beauty.become.com/tea-tree-shampoo

And a note about your health outside of your hair that relates to your hair: Keep it DRY when you go out. No, you can not get sick from wet hair in the cold, however, it does make you more susceptible to communicable diseases by weakening your defenses. A good blow dryer is an important ally in the autumn and winter months. hair blow dryers: http://health-and-beauty.become.com/hair-blow-dryers

Infant And Toddler Development Discussions: My favorites:

Week 2: Niche Picking:

I think my major is a perfect example of niche-picking. I am a Psych major going for a certificate in family studies. The diagnoses of depression, bi-polar and addiction in my family are prevalent but the non-diagnosed cases of the fore-mentioned as well as schizophrenia, anxiety (PTSD or post-traumatic-stress-disorder) are in much larger numbers and have been obvious to me since I was very young. It fascinated me enough to inspire an on-going study around my middle & high school years.

I, personally, always had social problems, the older I got, and it took years to realize that it was because my behaviors were not normal. I was afraid of people. I was passive-aggressive. My irritation level rose easily and I would explode on the people I did feel comfortable around. Plus, all of this made me a very bitter and angry person. Sometimes. I was diagnosed with bi-polar when I was pregnant with my daughter, while I was living in my home town around all of the family my mother had moved us away from when I was 8. One day I just started paying attention. I evaluated and discovered the reasons behind my irrational behaviors and used them to keep myself in check. Since then I have never needed medication. When I feel myself slipping out of control, I remind myself that it does not have to be that way. That is what i came from, it is not who I am. If niche-picking is seeking aspects and environments that serve our genetics, then I see this as a perfect example (Berke, 2008). I've kind of developed the frame of mind that, if I am not assisting people in helping their mental issues, then I am probably drowning in my own. Now I am continually working toward that in my BA program. (=

My job is a good example of this as well. My clients are mentally incapacitated and they require reasoning and understanding and my interest in psychology has benefited, in my opinion, every client I have had. I try to reason with their families and the many forms of staff that they come into contact with on their behalf. I used to be afraid of stepping on toes with this, but I tell everyone that life is stressful and when you are comfortable it is easy for things to get over-looked. I offer a perspective. You will get help or you will not. In either case, I can say I have done what I could.

This aside, I have obviously always been a thinker and an analyzer. With my aversion to people my best friends were always books and my own writing and drawing. Those are the most constant of my hobbies and they serve every aspect of my life very well.


Berk, L. (2008). Infants and children prenatal through middle childhood. Pearson Publishing

Week 3: Prenatal Environmental Factors, Publicized:

Maternal/Doctor relationship:

My connection to my midwives during my first pregnancy were a definite comfort. After each appointment they answered any and all questions I had and encouraged me to call for anything I might need. I called them for everything. Any new feeling, discomfort or pain. Any question about my restrictions for safety. I was excited to listen to Taven’s heart beat and have his health and development confirmed. Granted, not all people are lucky to have such a positive experience with their obstetrician (Berk, 2008).

However, for the benefit of producing healthy offspring, maintaining one’s own health and the opportunity to be mentally, emotionally and perhaps even physically prepared for any complications upon birth or in the months and years following, it is important that an expectant mother receive proper medical attention. Screenings for diseases and vaccinations to prevent tuberculosis and rubella are a must due to the possible repercussions. Failure to acquire proper care during pregnancy can result in physical deformities, brain damage and many other birth defects, including fetal and infant death (Berk, 2008). Also, personally, I think that keeping track of the development creates a better bond between mother and child in the long run. An informed mother is a confident mother, as well (Berk, 2008).

Stress:

Stress is just as capable of causing long term problems in a developing organism as any drug or lack. Anxiety and depression are debilitating mentally and often physically and can be caused by low levels of cortisol, the hormone that allows one to adapt to stress (Berk, 2008). I think everyone should be aware of this. I feel it is our responsibility as a thriving species to assist with those that are struggling, be that mentally and emotionally, fiscally or physically. I believe whole-heartedly in community and family dynamic. Not enough people value the individuals that make up their environment so much as they worry and obsess about what will happen to themselves in our very individualistic society that is the U.S. That being said, I feel it should be common knowledge that someone pregnant needs a substantial support system so that the people in the lives of those expecting are more inclined to step up and assist where needed.

Exercise:

In addition to reducing physical stress by keeping the body limber, exercise ups the levels of serotonin (a hormone proven to make you feel good or happy) that an individual produces on a regular basis (Greenburg & Bruess, 2011). It can be difficult to get motivated to do any kind of exercise when your body is so rapidly expanding from within and your hormones are threatening to run the show, but I think if women knew the full extent of the benefits of exercise that they would make more of an effort. Exercise benefits the fetus as long as it is done in a cautious manner, but the real benefit lies with the mother. Recovery after pregnancy is a hurdle for most. The better shape you keep while pregnant, most times, the easier you bounce back.

Nutrition/Preventative & Malnutrition:

The older the mother is, the daily dosage of certain minerals and vitamins change. Folic acid is integral for keeping brain development healthy in a 40+ expectant mother (Berk, 2008). It is important for one to supplement where there is a lack in the diet, but the best way to take in the components that nurture your body is through what you eat (Greenburg & Bruess, 2011). It is easy to get swept up in cravings and all of the horrendously unhealthy treats that call your name at the supermarket or from fast food windows as you drive by. I think a lot of women figure they are going to gain weight anyway. I agree that those devilishly delightful treats are acceptable once in a while, but it benefits baby and mother to adopt healthier eating habits to prevent a stunt of the organism’s development and to prevent further stress and possible malnutrition of the mother (Berk, 2008).

Effects of chemicals:

Each instance of FASD involves some level of brain injury. These are effects that will complicate the childhood, adolescent and adult lives of the fetus affected (Berk, 2008). Because of the harmful effects any chemical has on the embryonic phase of a developing organism, I believe it should be common knowledge what qualifies and how important it is to use multiple birth control methods if you use drugs or take prescribed medication, and the importance of testing regularly when accidents occur or if you can not afford birth control (Berk, 2008). I will add, in closing, that I believe that birth control should be covered in medical insurance and that health departments that help lower SES families, adolescents and young adults should be better advertised throughout their communities.


References:

Berk, L. (2008). Infants and children prenatal through middle childhood. Pearson Publishing

Greenberg, J.S., Bruess, C.E. & Conklin, S.C., (2011). Exploring the dimensions of human sexuality (4th ed.). Sudbury, Massachusetts: Jones And Bartlett Publishers.

Week 4: Kimmel and The Natural Child Project:

According to Dr. Kimmel, by resisting what we were given naturally we are producing “fake” babies. He clearly believes that a mother is to have a natural birth, breast feed and cater to her child’s every whim (Kimmel, n.d). I know people who were raised this way, the ones I know are rather dependent. Once their mother is not the primary care provider, their spouse takes on the role.

Dr. Kimmel paints a cruel picture of modern mothers with their jobs and their lives outside of child rearing. He scorns her for sleeping separately from her baby with no mention of how she might be safeguarding her infant from sudden infant death syndrome with special bedding (Berk, 2008).

He touts at the cesarean section and it’s surgical precision claiming that it lacks emotion and takes away the role of the mother in birth (Kimmel, n.d). What he does not mention is how it can be medically necessary to protect the lives of the mother and the baby in many instances to take the surgical route. For example, if baby is in a breech position and attempting natural birth is dangerous, then a cesarean is the method safest for both (Berk, 2008).

Bottle feeding is also demonized in this reading. Dr. Kimmel mentions that a substitute formula is given so that the mother does not *have* to breast feed. In hospitals and doctors’ offices you will find pamphlets from Similac & Enfamil, which I would suppose are the most popular of baby formulas available (and also the only ones Women Infants and Children will provide), about the importance of breast feeding. It is true. There are many emotional, mental and physical benefits to the natural lactation of a child-bearing woman (Berk, 2008). Though, if mother is on some kind of medication to sustain her own health, it may be best for the baby to have the substitute rather than suffer the possible side effects. As a mother that encountered this, I can tell you it was heart-breaking to realize I had to bottle feed exclusively. Also, I had to fight feelings of inadequacy, but I was infinitely grateful that there was such an efficient substitute.

In the area of allowing a baby to cry it out, I think that there are certain circumstances that must be questioned. You can never be too sure with a new born, even if a diaper was just changed or a feeding was just administered, these things could still be the culprit. In the area of attention, with the amount of care that newborns require, they are getting plenty of attention just being cared for and getting to know their new family. An attentive mother who is not suffering from postpartum depression has tenderness. Mothers with PPD have a certain level of tenderness as well. Doctors and midwives and home nurses will tell an expectant mother how one’s touch helps one’s baby grow.

Kangaroo care or skin-to-skin contact of premature infants is encouraged in hospitals in this day and age (Berk, 2008). Hospitals, today, even allow for mother and baby to share a room (Berk, 2008). I believe that parents are as close to the way they should be today as ever before. Advances in all fields of science that facilitate human development have given the public and the practitioner a better understanding of baby’s needs and adaptability. Psychology, medicine and science support the “fake” mother’s ways of parenting for a reason. It works.

Dr. Kimmel speaks out against child abuse, also. This I agree with. There are ways to discipline that do not involve teaching a child that violence is acceptable when you do not agree with the way someone acts or the things a person does and says.

References:

Berk, L. (2008). Infants and children prenatal through middle childhood. Pearson Publishing

Kimmel J. (n.d.) What happened to mother? The Natural Child Project. Web.

Cernunos

_-~* In the quiet calm and the still of the night, I can still hear him from the forest's edge... calling... "tear thy linens and expose thy flesh, make merry with thou fellow beasts in the territories I rule. Come, child... there is much mischief to intrude upon. There are many sights to be seen. We are waiting. Come home."*~-_

When I was completely alone, because I believed I was.. I sat under the tree that faces the wood, on the outside looking in, and I told Cernunos repeatedly "I surrender if you surrender."

I can still picture the visions that riddled my head on these occasions. It was a taunt and a game and a connection with ancient, omnipresent, omnipotent energy and in the weeks following, nature bowed. Wild animals showed themselves to me in the suburbs where I work. Dragon flies lined up in the shape of a star at my feet as I meditated or chanted and butterflies followed me and perched on me as I connected to my very own out doors. Butterflies and dragonflies an other pretty winged insects perched in my home where I often was and left their physical forms behind.

Finally my emotional difficulties had many concrete sources, giving me an understanding myself and the feelings of many others around me. My dreams became journeys in another plane. The faeries quit their mischief and cooperate accordingly. I began to hear the disembodied voices, but this time I did not seek medication because I listened to what they were saying.

Faith returned.

Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.

SMIB!