It's okay that you wronged me. . .

It's okay that you wronged me, for those who harm are never content,
Pockets are tighter for a bit, my trust in others will take a hit,
But the time invested in bettering any individual is well-spent.

As opportunities continue to open up and present me with improvement,
I will soon forget your face, no one else will ever embrace,
Soon you will be completely alone in your constant movement.

Soon you will run out of good hearts to manipulate.

As I progress onward, my family rising slowly, shining bright,
Your conscience will catch up as you are running out of luck,
I will hold on to what you have taught me, knowing I was right.

As you begin to look older and feel the many years of others' hate,
My smile lines the only indicator of times perpetrator,
You will find all of your fears and regrets put you in a sorry state.

But until then, I know, you will never stop to contemplate.

We both deserve all that is coming to us.

emit to relieve encumerance

Pompous. As you so hate, so you are.

To look down on my passion, ignore my epiphany, chortle supremely at my fascination...

Your mind will fester in bordem,

For you are satiated by few senses.

Rot. For your spirit slumbers.


Perchance, you will open your mind's eye in another present and find yourself quite engaged.

The Rule of Nine

I have all I want and need,
All I want and need is mine,
You possess in heart and head,
So long as you mind the rule of nine.

Nine days of three hundred and sixty five,
To rest your weary, tired feet,
Nine more you must love each year,
Of all the souls that you will meet.

Nine times choose to progress for you
Over the benefit of someone else,
For we who have it all will give,
Until there is nothing left of our Self.

Nine new things experience,
Fear and failure be damned,
Nine times stand up for what you believe,
Despite being condemned.

Nine times relish instead,
of complain, hold appreciation,
When you are at your worst,
Employ your concentration.

Nine times trust the voice in your head,
Listen hard and long,
And each year you will find,
Your life becomes the song.

Gnarled and sparkling,
In complete harmony,
Terrific and horrific,
The loud melody,

That is life.

I have all I want and need,
All I want and need is mine.
So it will be for eternity,
So it has been for all of time.

Boudicca Reincarnated

Scarred and scorched and recovered from lame,
Marred and torched and accused of blame,
Arisen, I stand, and you'll speak my name,
You'll burn to touch me, ignite the flame.

I have triumphed over all that conquered and claimed me
I have gasped for breath atop those who've restrained me,
I've gone feral with passion for those seeking to tame me,
I have returned. . . from being insane.

I Am A Warrior Woman.

Through injustice, abuse, neglect; I perservere,
Voluptuous, robust, ferocious, and fierce!
What I want I shall have, though you try, you shall not halt me.
Now come, let me take you, I pray thee, exalt me.

Myspace Poetry Vol. 1

Here are the oldest of all of the poems I posted on myspace. There are more to come.

Cut Poem #1:

On my own I shall carry on-
And try with all I am to accept it-
That lonliness is all that I will ever know in the end.
And there will always be separation.
Each beautiful enigma that I covet
Sparkling bright & glitttering with novel

Will spawn emotion I can no longer handle..
And will turn to ash and sting my eyes..
Or without explaination make haste to leave me...

And again I will be left alone
To my own hateful thoughts,
And violent self-image.
Fear for me, for I can not be nice to myself.

The words
and actions
and thoughts of other

invoke the need for blood.

For the sting of salt from my tears
In my fresh open wounds.

It is a [sadomasochistic] sanctuary that I seek each time.

And each time, I cower in regret.
But each time I return foolishly.
Because I know no other way to soothe me.



*Shrug*


I arrive with epiphanies and revelations in motion behind closed lips-
And they are met with poisonous blasts of negative verbage
Before I can allow them to escape.

And each time I attempt to impress upon you,
These sweet surges of soft serenity,
But they are suppressed against your cloud of dispair,
Sometimes penetrated and deflated.,
Sometimes haggard and treated as abominations,
And sometimes you completely murder them, and they remain unheard of.

This invokes in me waves of rage that peak and damper....
Like a storm it starts calm then it rushes, boils and climbs above the brim,
And I fear it will spill from me in fits of violence.

Though, again I suppress.
And I've politely within decided
That my mild meanderings of mysticism and man
Should most likely be withheld for my own sake.

So I shall take them, keep them with me and savor them alone.
So that I save myself from disappointment in your mandatory melancholy.

Resentment:

No excuse for your behaviour,
You are selfish and you are cold.
The images portrayed are false
As you do as you are told.
Idiotic, Imbecile,
Spineless, lacking pride.
All that you have taught me
Is to run away and hide.

I sicken of your plastic(ness)
Your facade of utter might.
Always sneaking and withholding
And bending 'til it's right.
Progressively you've become
An opinionless puppet and pawn.
Sealed the deal when the seed was sown,
Soul owned with the birth of it's spawn.

+~~~~~+~~~~~+~~~~~+~~~~~+

Nullity

Broken promises,
I am barren and woeful.
Rescue me from isolation,
Deliver me from solitude.

Pallid & vacant,
I long to be doted on.
Captivate me...
Venerate me...
Copulate me...
Eradicate me.

I am Nullity. Perpetually

Here's a funny tidbit! Less than a year after I wrote this poem, I GOT MARRIED. After you read it, you'll see the irony.

Internally


It seems there will always be
Sorrow in solitude.
My addiction to affection,
it never rests.
And so I often find my mind at wander,
Apparently I am obsessed;
With the contemplation of union,
A concept that could be my demise.
The thought need not be entertained
When the act in its entirety I despise...
Externally
Commitment is corruption.
Emotions are entrapment.
Relationships, ridiculous,
Marriage, a mistake.
and
LOVE is a LIE.
Soft & sweet, I accept it.
That I can not deny my longing
To be adored & doted upon
And so I am torn apart in my need for belonging.
Liberation is empty.
Once set free, I am just alone.
Independence is deception.
Each fear more frightening,
All music possesses a more somber tone.
I face each party with a grin,
Though, inside I cower in tears,
I hide my frustration in smiles,
My weakness will never fall upon your ears.