Infant And Toddler Development Discussions: My favorites:

Week 2: Niche Picking:

I think my major is a perfect example of niche-picking. I am a Psych major going for a certificate in family studies. The diagnoses of depression, bi-polar and addiction in my family are prevalent but the non-diagnosed cases of the fore-mentioned as well as schizophrenia, anxiety (PTSD or post-traumatic-stress-disorder) are in much larger numbers and have been obvious to me since I was very young. It fascinated me enough to inspire an on-going study around my middle & high school years.

I, personally, always had social problems, the older I got, and it took years to realize that it was because my behaviors were not normal. I was afraid of people. I was passive-aggressive. My irritation level rose easily and I would explode on the people I did feel comfortable around. Plus, all of this made me a very bitter and angry person. Sometimes. I was diagnosed with bi-polar when I was pregnant with my daughter, while I was living in my home town around all of the family my mother had moved us away from when I was 8. One day I just started paying attention. I evaluated and discovered the reasons behind my irrational behaviors and used them to keep myself in check. Since then I have never needed medication. When I feel myself slipping out of control, I remind myself that it does not have to be that way. That is what i came from, it is not who I am. If niche-picking is seeking aspects and environments that serve our genetics, then I see this as a perfect example (Berke, 2008). I've kind of developed the frame of mind that, if I am not assisting people in helping their mental issues, then I am probably drowning in my own. Now I am continually working toward that in my BA program. (=

My job is a good example of this as well. My clients are mentally incapacitated and they require reasoning and understanding and my interest in psychology has benefited, in my opinion, every client I have had. I try to reason with their families and the many forms of staff that they come into contact with on their behalf. I used to be afraid of stepping on toes with this, but I tell everyone that life is stressful and when you are comfortable it is easy for things to get over-looked. I offer a perspective. You will get help or you will not. In either case, I can say I have done what I could.

This aside, I have obviously always been a thinker and an analyzer. With my aversion to people my best friends were always books and my own writing and drawing. Those are the most constant of my hobbies and they serve every aspect of my life very well.


Berk, L. (2008). Infants and children prenatal through middle childhood. Pearson Publishing

Week 3: Prenatal Environmental Factors, Publicized:

Maternal/Doctor relationship:

My connection to my midwives during my first pregnancy were a definite comfort. After each appointment they answered any and all questions I had and encouraged me to call for anything I might need. I called them for everything. Any new feeling, discomfort or pain. Any question about my restrictions for safety. I was excited to listen to Taven’s heart beat and have his health and development confirmed. Granted, not all people are lucky to have such a positive experience with their obstetrician (Berk, 2008).

However, for the benefit of producing healthy offspring, maintaining one’s own health and the opportunity to be mentally, emotionally and perhaps even physically prepared for any complications upon birth or in the months and years following, it is important that an expectant mother receive proper medical attention. Screenings for diseases and vaccinations to prevent tuberculosis and rubella are a must due to the possible repercussions. Failure to acquire proper care during pregnancy can result in physical deformities, brain damage and many other birth defects, including fetal and infant death (Berk, 2008). Also, personally, I think that keeping track of the development creates a better bond between mother and child in the long run. An informed mother is a confident mother, as well (Berk, 2008).

Stress:

Stress is just as capable of causing long term problems in a developing organism as any drug or lack. Anxiety and depression are debilitating mentally and often physically and can be caused by low levels of cortisol, the hormone that allows one to adapt to stress (Berk, 2008). I think everyone should be aware of this. I feel it is our responsibility as a thriving species to assist with those that are struggling, be that mentally and emotionally, fiscally or physically. I believe whole-heartedly in community and family dynamic. Not enough people value the individuals that make up their environment so much as they worry and obsess about what will happen to themselves in our very individualistic society that is the U.S. That being said, I feel it should be common knowledge that someone pregnant needs a substantial support system so that the people in the lives of those expecting are more inclined to step up and assist where needed.

Exercise:

In addition to reducing physical stress by keeping the body limber, exercise ups the levels of serotonin (a hormone proven to make you feel good or happy) that an individual produces on a regular basis (Greenburg & Bruess, 2011). It can be difficult to get motivated to do any kind of exercise when your body is so rapidly expanding from within and your hormones are threatening to run the show, but I think if women knew the full extent of the benefits of exercise that they would make more of an effort. Exercise benefits the fetus as long as it is done in a cautious manner, but the real benefit lies with the mother. Recovery after pregnancy is a hurdle for most. The better shape you keep while pregnant, most times, the easier you bounce back.

Nutrition/Preventative & Malnutrition:

The older the mother is, the daily dosage of certain minerals and vitamins change. Folic acid is integral for keeping brain development healthy in a 40+ expectant mother (Berk, 2008). It is important for one to supplement where there is a lack in the diet, but the best way to take in the components that nurture your body is through what you eat (Greenburg & Bruess, 2011). It is easy to get swept up in cravings and all of the horrendously unhealthy treats that call your name at the supermarket or from fast food windows as you drive by. I think a lot of women figure they are going to gain weight anyway. I agree that those devilishly delightful treats are acceptable once in a while, but it benefits baby and mother to adopt healthier eating habits to prevent a stunt of the organism’s development and to prevent further stress and possible malnutrition of the mother (Berk, 2008).

Effects of chemicals:

Each instance of FASD involves some level of brain injury. These are effects that will complicate the childhood, adolescent and adult lives of the fetus affected (Berk, 2008). Because of the harmful effects any chemical has on the embryonic phase of a developing organism, I believe it should be common knowledge what qualifies and how important it is to use multiple birth control methods if you use drugs or take prescribed medication, and the importance of testing regularly when accidents occur or if you can not afford birth control (Berk, 2008). I will add, in closing, that I believe that birth control should be covered in medical insurance and that health departments that help lower SES families, adolescents and young adults should be better advertised throughout their communities.


References:

Berk, L. (2008). Infants and children prenatal through middle childhood. Pearson Publishing

Greenberg, J.S., Bruess, C.E. & Conklin, S.C., (2011). Exploring the dimensions of human sexuality (4th ed.). Sudbury, Massachusetts: Jones And Bartlett Publishers.

Week 4: Kimmel and The Natural Child Project:

According to Dr. Kimmel, by resisting what we were given naturally we are producing “fake” babies. He clearly believes that a mother is to have a natural birth, breast feed and cater to her child’s every whim (Kimmel, n.d). I know people who were raised this way, the ones I know are rather dependent. Once their mother is not the primary care provider, their spouse takes on the role.

Dr. Kimmel paints a cruel picture of modern mothers with their jobs and their lives outside of child rearing. He scorns her for sleeping separately from her baby with no mention of how she might be safeguarding her infant from sudden infant death syndrome with special bedding (Berk, 2008).

He touts at the cesarean section and it’s surgical precision claiming that it lacks emotion and takes away the role of the mother in birth (Kimmel, n.d). What he does not mention is how it can be medically necessary to protect the lives of the mother and the baby in many instances to take the surgical route. For example, if baby is in a breech position and attempting natural birth is dangerous, then a cesarean is the method safest for both (Berk, 2008).

Bottle feeding is also demonized in this reading. Dr. Kimmel mentions that a substitute formula is given so that the mother does not *have* to breast feed. In hospitals and doctors’ offices you will find pamphlets from Similac & Enfamil, which I would suppose are the most popular of baby formulas available (and also the only ones Women Infants and Children will provide), about the importance of breast feeding. It is true. There are many emotional, mental and physical benefits to the natural lactation of a child-bearing woman (Berk, 2008). Though, if mother is on some kind of medication to sustain her own health, it may be best for the baby to have the substitute rather than suffer the possible side effects. As a mother that encountered this, I can tell you it was heart-breaking to realize I had to bottle feed exclusively. Also, I had to fight feelings of inadequacy, but I was infinitely grateful that there was such an efficient substitute.

In the area of allowing a baby to cry it out, I think that there are certain circumstances that must be questioned. You can never be too sure with a new born, even if a diaper was just changed or a feeding was just administered, these things could still be the culprit. In the area of attention, with the amount of care that newborns require, they are getting plenty of attention just being cared for and getting to know their new family. An attentive mother who is not suffering from postpartum depression has tenderness. Mothers with PPD have a certain level of tenderness as well. Doctors and midwives and home nurses will tell an expectant mother how one’s touch helps one’s baby grow.

Kangaroo care or skin-to-skin contact of premature infants is encouraged in hospitals in this day and age (Berk, 2008). Hospitals, today, even allow for mother and baby to share a room (Berk, 2008). I believe that parents are as close to the way they should be today as ever before. Advances in all fields of science that facilitate human development have given the public and the practitioner a better understanding of baby’s needs and adaptability. Psychology, medicine and science support the “fake” mother’s ways of parenting for a reason. It works.

Dr. Kimmel speaks out against child abuse, also. This I agree with. There are ways to discipline that do not involve teaching a child that violence is acceptable when you do not agree with the way someone acts or the things a person does and says.

References:

Berk, L. (2008). Infants and children prenatal through middle childhood. Pearson Publishing

Kimmel J. (n.d.) What happened to mother? The Natural Child Project. Web.

Cernunos

_-~* In the quiet calm and the still of the night, I can still hear him from the forest's edge... calling... "tear thy linens and expose thy flesh, make merry with thou fellow beasts in the territories I rule. Come, child... there is much mischief to intrude upon. There are many sights to be seen. We are waiting. Come home."*~-_

When I was completely alone, because I believed I was.. I sat under the tree that faces the wood, on the outside looking in, and I told Cernunos repeatedly "I surrender if you surrender."

I can still picture the visions that riddled my head on these occasions. It was a taunt and a game and a connection with ancient, omnipresent, omnipotent energy and in the weeks following, nature bowed. Wild animals showed themselves to me in the suburbs where I work. Dragon flies lined up in the shape of a star at my feet as I meditated or chanted and butterflies followed me and perched on me as I connected to my very own out doors. Butterflies and dragonflies an other pretty winged insects perched in my home where I often was and left their physical forms behind.

Finally my emotional difficulties had many concrete sources, giving me an understanding myself and the feelings of many others around me. My dreams became journeys in another plane. The faeries quit their mischief and cooperate accordingly. I began to hear the disembodied voices, but this time I did not seek medication because I listened to what they were saying.

Faith returned.

Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.

SMIB!

Threat of a shift...

The shift back to darkness looms ominously. Lyrics to a nostalgic song rattling in my head. Familiar faces flash behind my eyes without much precursor. Rage swells with little cause, save frustration and hurry. I feel the need to release this massive inconvenience.

Once I made time to clear my head. I actively brainwashed myself into believing to achieve. With constant occupation, I guess I am running on automatic. My automatic thought process is a little darker than I would like, still. None-the-less, there are no flashes of gore and disturbing images now. There is no obsession with the macabre, though an appreciation remains.

I feel the threat of a shift, but not a shift, per say. My response is to do as I have been doing. Dream big. Pour my passions into what I believe I deserve. Bury myself beneath comforting thoughts and thoughtful comforts..

Too much social interaction. Too much, do I lend my ear. Such love I have for these beings that cling to me. Shush and deal alone? Listen and drown in sorrow?

I want to be dependable and helpful. I do not want to be involved in the business of conflict I have neither created nor perpetuated. There is little time for others' responsibilities now that my own are so closely looked after. However, when I sense their pain, I want to comfort and inspire.

For once I know there is a balance to be found. I relish in this fact.

Life is to be more stable where we're going. I can hold on a little longer until then. (=

Midnight Meanderings

I feel incredibly artistic as of late. My sketch book does not call to me. Nothing particularly poetic seems to plague my thoughts. I just want to create. I wish I had a river of rainbow paint and a forest of brushes.

I feel under such conditions I could produce such beauty that is both enchanting and horrifying to look on.

I wish I had a desert of beads and baubles and an oasis of thread and elastic.

I could create jewelry to bedazzle a goddess.

I wish I had an acre of colorful and patterned fabrics and my very own singer.

I could outfit the world's royalty.

But I just have myself and my thoughts and the wonderful people in my life. And so I inspire where I can and spend my days in progression.

It is a charmed life. (;

Dreams

When I was on medication my dreams were very vivid and nonsensical. The common theme these days, is a cycle. Sometimes I close my eyes for a second and then I open them and it is morning and my children are calling for me. Sometimes I have long strings of dreams that either interconnect or do not at all. Right before menstruation, however, I seem to have very strong symbolic dreams or relatively mundane dreams that I am some one else.

Yesterday was the beginning and the two days leading up were very different

Wednesday:

There is a school I visit in my dreams, often. It is unlike any school I have ever been to in real life or seen in any media. There are thick, black pillars everywhere that are decorated with nothing particularly eye catching. Walking in the front the first thing you see is a grand staircase with purple carpeting. There are always a lot of people there, this time none of them can see me but I have to try very hard NOT to look at them. I was not me, I was an attractive teen girl I have never seen before with a 70's style go-go hat that was suede, powder blue and sage green, huge, silver hoop earrings and a provocative suede, brown jumper. I had long, curly, dark hair.

There was some kind of assembly after school that I was rushing to and no matter where I went I kept running into Justin Timberlake. He never looked at me during this rush but, always said "pardon me, pretty lady," because he was literally walking into me. It was some how okay to look at him but I would not look at anyone else.

I sat in the back of the assembly and eventually Justin Timberlake was sitting next to me. This version of me found him irresistible (he is not really my type), but tried to resist because of some unclear commitment. We flirted a lot and talked for a long time, eventually winding up at this party. I remember keeping my eyes focused solely on him because he was beautiful and the rest of the party was ugly and when my gaze drifted I started to feel like something was wrong because I noticed almost everyone was watching us. He continued to make advances and my defenses were weakening. When we were conversing and looking at each other I was filled with euphoria and no one else was even there to me.

Eventually he had me on his lap and sex was about to happen, then his body went limp and closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep- or actually was, though it was very sudden and dramatic.

As soon as this happened I started to feel self-conscious and afraid though no one was doing or saying anything. I started to get up but then he was all over me again, speaking to me, looking at me. But the spell was broken and all I could see was all of those eyes looking so expectantly, finally seeing me and in an unfavorable light.

Now, this is all very symbolic. The school has always been responsibility. In each dream that it has appeared there has been a lot of responsibility to be taken in many areas. It is most appropriate here because of my academic pursuits and the stress therein.

I am every woman here, therefore I am also me and probably mostly me because of the implied anxiety (the one weakness I refuse to excuse and maybe kind of loathe). Striving for originality, avoiding judgement and forever being tripped up by the ideals that a relationship presents:

Someone attractive to always look at, someone interesting to always talk to, someone bright to dispell the darkness.

To me, public sex is a good time. I am an exhibitionist and love to be watched. Not so much, here. Here I forget I am being watched and nobody looks at me or can see me until I am about to do something less than commendable in the eyes of society. When the situation turns unfavorable for me I realize I am being exposed and worse, there is no reaction. Thus illustrating my fear that I am as awful as everyone expects me to be regardless of what the few biased parties are able to convince me.

Summary: I am feeling stressed about many responsibilities needing attention all at once. After having it laid out in front of me in Human Sexuality, I am still thoroughly disturbed about the sexual double-standard. I feel compelled to act on it, but am unsure how, yet. I am worried that I will not live up to the expectations I have for myself and therefor fear everyone is thinking I am a loser and that they are right.

Keep in mind the first and last are concerns that will always have an impact because I now choose to ignore them rather than address them and they have to express themselves somewhere.

The Shift

In my own dark hole I rotted and died for a long, long time... people shared the sentiment. People expressed displeasure. People blamed chemical imbalances. People gave me excuses and experiences but never asked about the light at the mouth of the cave, and I don't blame them.

The only epiphany was hypocrisy to me. The only depth was found in loneliness, the only beauty found in pain. Those would have been the light then.. but it was all reflection. I was a decaying life form with subconscious desire to be happy and no one knew. I did not accept happiness. I scorned optimism. I taunted satisfaction. I detested simple stasis. I lacked these things and I embraced my darkness.

I maintained my melancholy though I attracted people to nurture and I always felt good about who I was until finally someone was truly dependent upon me. Then something went wrong and I started to actually hate the person I was becoming. I was afraid. Of. Everything. I did not live. I existed.

Disease? POVERTY? RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE!? MURDER!?! MOLESTATION!?!?

Panic. Hide. Dwell.

Tired, I was so tired. So very tired and drained of life and instead of enjoying my darkness, I now hated and feared that as well.

Well before The Secret, there is a great big book by Silver RavenWolf called "Solitary Witch," that after finally getting a good job, I started to flip through. I didn't have internet or a very good library to work with, but I had Solitary Witch and I dug right in for the second time in my life.

I looked at some of the less common themes that I had found too complicated when I was younger this time.. Astronomy, numerology, this is also when I decided I would master tarot.

THIS time in my life, I see it now, is when this Shift began. I defied the pain I felt every day and soon obsessed over moving or doing.. I craved purpose outside of maintaining a family because I knew I was meant for more. I stopped fearing people because I felt powerful again.

Learning ignited that blaze of exploring in me. Reading magazines and books do not always fulfill someone of my appetite. I devoured what was available to me, but I was connected spiritually to what I read in Solitary Witch. I took notes in my Grimoire and put the knowledge to use. Someone close to me showed me how easy going back to school could be and I chased it until it was mine.

Those actions shaped the world I live in today where I have a happy family, I am working toward a higher education, I am buying a car in perfect running condition and am leaving the trailer park in less than two months.

I do not fear sickness or death or loss or destruction. I embrace it all once more as a part of life. My opinion of myself is as positive as ever as I begin to feel better physically and look better, too. There are still echoes, remnants of a time where I could not stand to be alone or around anyone but Chris and the kids, that push things a little over that perfect balance. But those echoes are matched with the ecstasy of control and the bliss of connection and the completion of confidence that I feel EVERY day.

I cured all of my own maladies. I think that would make anyone awful sure of themselves.

The Rule of Nine

I have all I want and need,
All I want and need is mine,
You possess in heart and head,
So long as you mind the rule of nine.

Nine days of three hundred and sixty five,
To rest your weary, tired feet,
Nine more you must love each year,
Of all the souls that you will meet.

Nine times choose to progress for you
Over the benefit of someone else,
For we who have it all will give,
Until there is nothing left of our Self.

Nine new things experience,
Fear and failure be damned,
Nine times stand up for what you believe,
Despite being condemned.

Nine times relish instead,
of complain, hold appreciation,
When you are at your worst,
Employ your concentration.

Nine times trust the voice in your head,
Listen hard and long,
And each year you will find,
Your life becomes the song.

Gnarled and sparkling,
In complete harmony,
Terrific and horrific,
The loud melody,

That is life.

I have all I want and need,
All I want and need is mine.
So it will be for eternity,
So it has been for all of time.