Jolly Orange Balloons!

Got a job in a bakery in a well known department store I choose not to mention at this time for legal reasons in case I decide to bitch at a later date, lol.

It's whipping my ass into shape! My feet, legs & VAGINA are killing me. I haven't worked so hard for money in over 3 years now & I guess you could say I'm a bit spoiled.

Chris has been fantastic. Helping me soak my feet & daily foot rubs- I'd be so screwed w/o him.

It's kind of a drive & I've had to borrow money for gas being that Chris's stupid old employers listed his SSN wrong on the paystubs & unemployment has been cripplingly delayed.

I hate owing ppl money.

Fucking poverty!!

Anyway, I like the ppl I work with enough. They're all girls so I've decided to be as social as possible without talking about anyone negatively or giving too much personal info. It sucks because I'm naturally an obnoxious pervert & I have to constantly stifle that.

The kids are good. They make me smile. Lylie is in the begining stages of teething FINALLY! Taven says more n more every day that sounds less n less like jibberish(or Tavenese as I like to call it) & continues to be very sweet. His new thing is gathering like objects & doing random things with them. I.E stuffed animals that are the same animals or rings(the plastic ones that go largest to smallest on a little plastic post & base, he has two & he gathers all he can find & just arranges them in different ways). All of his teeth are finally visible, he has 4 coming in all at once on either side of the top & bottom front 4.

I miss them!!! Badly. I work 10am to 7pm on sun, tues, thurs, fri & sat. I see ppl w/ their kids all day & I think, "I wish I could hold Lylie.. I miss Taven hugs & kisses!.. I want my BABIES!!!"... all day. I talk about them & Chris all day.

I miss Alec. I saw Bangkok Dangerous yesterday & there were Thia go go dancers in nurse costumes & I lost it.. weird right? No, we always made fun of him for his fetishes, even though they're common, we just thought it was funny & he was cool about it.. Last time my life was getting shitty he was there wiping away my tears, telling me he had my back & that everything would be ok.. & I believed him. And it feels like I'm constantly mourning him now..

I had a day last week where I reminisced about Daniel for about an hour with Chris.. telling him some of the great & terrible things that went down in that era of my life & I found myself wondering how long I would muse thoughts of that nature for Alec..

Where I work is where we lived together, the same town.. I took the town roads my first couple of days there & cried both times.. He wasn't there... It felt like a dream, like none of it was real because I couldn't just call him & say; "Hey.. I'm at the 'mothershoe park' hahahahaha!!" Joey called it that.. We played there, we flirted there, we were KIDS there.. things were good there. It was a period of transition that our pack shared. It seemed shitty at the time under the circumstances.. but looking back it borderlined blissful.'

How corn filled that I find myself thinking; "If I only knew then what I know now.."

*sigh*

Onward.. it's late n I have work tomorrow, so I'll go right into something I wanted to bring up.

Nuclear Power.
One of my favorite sources of knowledge is a shown known as Penn & Teller's BULLSHIT & I watched the special on nuclear power a week or so ago.
They made reference to the damn misinformed hippies that are against nuclear power.
The guy against nuclear power makes the point that nuclear power is dirty, dangerous & expensive.. which once you learn the facts is ludicrous.

Well as an informed hippie, lemme just say I'm Pro Nuclear.

Nuclear power is generated from small pellets of uranium which emits radiation.
As far as dirty goes, they have a facility set up in Nevada? I think, I'm going on memory due to time, after I do a little more research I'll go into more detail, anyway, the desert. It's dry so there will be no run off & they can store a large amount in one area due to the way it's stored.
They showed recorded accidents during uranium transport, one was a collision with a large truck carrying uranium & another large truck & the other was with a train & a truck. In both instances not only was there no catastrophic explosion, there was NO explosion & no one was killed.
People die from accidents and exposure mining for coal & fighting in wars for oil EVERY DAY.. but somehow we can't do without it.
According to scientists interviewed, it would take 400 nuclear power plants(which emit no harmful fumes, just contained radiation) to power the states with the same amount of energy we use today which would take away the need for coal n oil n WAR & give hundreds of thousands of ppl jobs.

So, Penn.. Teller.. don't generalize all hippies as ill-informed. I'm officially PRO NUCLEAR!

Anyway, it's nearly two, so off to bed!