Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata
This haunting splendor by Ludwig van Beethoven was originally called "Quasi una fantasia," meaning, in Italian, "almost a fantasy (Green, 2011)." It has been a classical favorite for centuries and may be one of the most recognized sonatas of Beethoven’s collection of classical masterpieces and with good reason. It is truly enchanting if not a touch eerie. In 1859, German music critic, Ludwig Rellstab wrote that the introduction reminded him of reflected moonlight in the face of Lake Lucerne (Green, 2011). He described the undulating notes as a boat travelling on Lake Lucerne beneath the full moon in the night sky ("Music- Classical..." 2008).
When I listen to the melodious, wandering scales of the piano, I can see the glittering black lake in my mind’s eye, stunning reflections of albino moon light shimmering amidst the darkness. Over the ebony lake, the celestial orb that is the full moon illuminates the night with a silvery glow. The picture is clear as day to me as the melody plays.
Perhaps that is why Rellstab’s appropriate nickname became infamous and the average person would not know which composer you were referring to if you mentioned "Quasi una fantasia." There is something elegant and bewitching about a luminous night sky, so much so that it inspires every kind of artist and art admirer.
References:
Green, A. (2011) Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. About.com. web. http://classicalmusic.about.com/od/onestopbeethoven/a/moonlightsonata.htm.
"Music - Classical & Opera - Lutchmayer on Ludwig;
How to truly appreciate Beethoven's 'Moonlight' Sonata" (2008) Time Out Group. Web. LexisNexis.
Beethovenslady via Youtube.com. (2006). Moonlight Sonata. Web. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck
Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Aimez votre vie.
The doldrums are not as bleak as they may seem,
At the very bottom, you must start with a dream.
There is splendor in grandeur,
There is wonder in elaboration,
There is beauty in discovery,
There is experience in collaboration,
The idea, born, must be nurtured:
A plan erected,
the Universe given word..
At the very bottom, you must be precise.
Picture each component in perfect clarity.
Release the weight of worry and fear,
Forget confrontation, humiliation and scarcity.
"All You Need Is Love.
Love is all you need."
Indulging in what you appreciate
Will bring your desires with speed.
Existence is situational,
Your situation can dissolve or improve,
Dwelling dissolves with ease, while
Indulging can make you move.
Profitez de la vie.
(Enjoy life.)
At the very bottom, you must start with a dream.
There is splendor in grandeur,
There is wonder in elaboration,
There is beauty in discovery,
There is experience in collaboration,
The idea, born, must be nurtured:
A plan erected,
the Universe given word..
At the very bottom, you must be precise.
Picture each component in perfect clarity.
Release the weight of worry and fear,
Forget confrontation, humiliation and scarcity.
"All You Need Is Love.
Love is all you need."
Indulging in what you appreciate
Will bring your desires with speed.
Existence is situational,
Your situation can dissolve or improve,
Dwelling dissolves with ease, while
Indulging can make you move.
Profitez de la vie.
(Enjoy life.)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Poisson!
In French that is fish and I say it over and over again and Rosetta Stone scoffs at me like I am an idiot. So I'll give it a day. Maybe I will have better pronounciation tomorrow.
So, fighting to stay positive is a pretty crazy roller coaster. My brain needs time to reset itself and my body needs some TLC but all I can do is obsess over things that essentially cause me pain. Why? Well because I was cursed with a vagina and the largely useless ability to feel EVERYTHING. Love is supposedly the most powerful idea in existence, but the more I love people the more they hurt me. The worst part is that it is never malicious anymore, if you are thinking "why is that so bad?" I will tell you. I am unhappy with myself for being so easily wounded by a lack of consideration and it inspires out-right rage.
This deep crimson cloud fogs up my head on nearly a daily basis.. but I know it is just from being tired. I need to take better care of myself, but someone needs me for something and I have to present myself, then I am behind in my responsibilities and even more pissed at myself. So I try to let it go- but of course, when it is brought to your attention, that makes it hard.
At this point I wonder.. how have I not disconnected myself wholly from negative emotion? Knowing what I know and feeling what I feel.. it seems all too perfect. Yet I can not remove myself unless physically, and even then I feel gross about it until I can truly not think about it with regularity.
I have been thinking about the people who have had the biggest influence in my life and aside from a select few, it seems I lose the ones who treat me the best. I am trying to make peace with the fact that to most people I am just not important. I am important to Chris & my kids and some of my friends, but to most other people it would be fine if I was as invisisble as I sometimes feel. Maybe that is not nice to say, but it is how I feel. A phone works both ways but mine doesn't have long distance.
I try to tell myself I am working toward that beautiful life I see in my head but sometimes it feels like I am working on my own with absolutely no support. The people around me, when they fall apart I am there to wipe their tears and give them some perspective.. but in my moments of darkness there is but an echo of the support I provide unless I force myself to seek it and I DETEST pity, but that seems to be all I get.
I am truly thankful for the people in my life. They are just as busy and just as diverse in their emotional spectrum (generally speaking) as I am and I realize that they are not inconsiderate with intent... how am I supposed to shut off that rage, though? How am I supposed to take it in stride when I put so much effort into being considerate to everyone else?
The things that work are exercise and meditation. And I plan to do those things every day, but with out fail, almost every day something disrupts my plans and either I am interrupted or I have to stress to squeeze in the execise.. and the meditation just has not been happening at all because it is never quiet, comfortable and calm all at the same time where I am at. My brain needs a fucking break! As much as I love music, I cannot wish I was deaf, but to be able to shut off my hearing, that would be amazing.
I am trying to focus on infinite time and space. I try to picture myself as my own burning star in lightyears of emptiness. It is so confusing to want so badly to be alone and at the same time feel so very alone and in need of beneficial company.
So into this text field, I release my heart ache and vow to start over fresh in the morning. Just like I do after every rag. Stupid hormones.
So, fighting to stay positive is a pretty crazy roller coaster. My brain needs time to reset itself and my body needs some TLC but all I can do is obsess over things that essentially cause me pain. Why? Well because I was cursed with a vagina and the largely useless ability to feel EVERYTHING. Love is supposedly the most powerful idea in existence, but the more I love people the more they hurt me. The worst part is that it is never malicious anymore, if you are thinking "why is that so bad?" I will tell you. I am unhappy with myself for being so easily wounded by a lack of consideration and it inspires out-right rage.
This deep crimson cloud fogs up my head on nearly a daily basis.. but I know it is just from being tired. I need to take better care of myself, but someone needs me for something and I have to present myself, then I am behind in my responsibilities and even more pissed at myself. So I try to let it go- but of course, when it is brought to your attention, that makes it hard.
At this point I wonder.. how have I not disconnected myself wholly from negative emotion? Knowing what I know and feeling what I feel.. it seems all too perfect. Yet I can not remove myself unless physically, and even then I feel gross about it until I can truly not think about it with regularity.
I have been thinking about the people who have had the biggest influence in my life and aside from a select few, it seems I lose the ones who treat me the best. I am trying to make peace with the fact that to most people I am just not important. I am important to Chris & my kids and some of my friends, but to most other people it would be fine if I was as invisisble as I sometimes feel. Maybe that is not nice to say, but it is how I feel. A phone works both ways but mine doesn't have long distance.
I try to tell myself I am working toward that beautiful life I see in my head but sometimes it feels like I am working on my own with absolutely no support. The people around me, when they fall apart I am there to wipe their tears and give them some perspective.. but in my moments of darkness there is but an echo of the support I provide unless I force myself to seek it and I DETEST pity, but that seems to be all I get.
I am truly thankful for the people in my life. They are just as busy and just as diverse in their emotional spectrum (generally speaking) as I am and I realize that they are not inconsiderate with intent... how am I supposed to shut off that rage, though? How am I supposed to take it in stride when I put so much effort into being considerate to everyone else?
The things that work are exercise and meditation. And I plan to do those things every day, but with out fail, almost every day something disrupts my plans and either I am interrupted or I have to stress to squeeze in the execise.. and the meditation just has not been happening at all because it is never quiet, comfortable and calm all at the same time where I am at. My brain needs a fucking break! As much as I love music, I cannot wish I was deaf, but to be able to shut off my hearing, that would be amazing.
I am trying to focus on infinite time and space. I try to picture myself as my own burning star in lightyears of emptiness. It is so confusing to want so badly to be alone and at the same time feel so very alone and in need of beneficial company.
So into this text field, I release my heart ache and vow to start over fresh in the morning. Just like I do after every rag. Stupid hormones.
Friday, November 26, 2010
So Glad I Could Make It
The past couple of days have been beautiful, despite family drama due to Thanksgiving and much inconsideration between two people.
Chris cooked Thanksgiving dinner in just over 2 hours yesterday. I told him his mom would be proud. It feels good to know there are leftovers in the fridge to feed us for the next few and we spent $51 total on Thanksgiving. We spent it just the four of us in the living room all sitting at the coffee table together. The kids loved it. Especially the pumpkin pie.
Today we watched movies all day while Chris slept, since last night was his Monday. We watched Willow & Labyrinth and Wallace and Gromit in The Curse of the Were-rabbit. We colored pictures and danced. I caught Lylith doing yoga today.
Taven has taken to using his potty over night and hasn't used a diaper in over a week. Lylith is still on the fence about whether or not she wants to use the potty and because we have awful carpet, I am at peace with that until this week when I will be devoting all time during the day to teaching her how to use the potty. I am considering getting her her own potty chair for her room for when she can control her temper.. 'cause otherwise the walls will be painted with poo, she's quite the viper.
Last week I wanted so badly to quit my job, I could hardly stand it. I was convinced I was going to write for one of these websites offering pay to amateurs and live off of that. After a week of thinking it over I am glad I am still here. I am disappointed that it is not as easy as I had anticipated to make money off of such things, but I have a genuine concern for my client.. he has had so much upheaval lately. I would feel awful if I had to contribute to that any more than I already have.
I have had to cancel two appointments in the last few weeks for respite care. Both were nearly an hour's drive and it just isn't worth what my pay has been reduced to- not to take two hours out of my day for driving that I will need for school. I hate it because I am getting work and essentially turning it down but it just isn't fitting in where I need it to.
This week I am not so pessimistic. This week I have a new perspective.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. (=
Chris cooked Thanksgiving dinner in just over 2 hours yesterday. I told him his mom would be proud. It feels good to know there are leftovers in the fridge to feed us for the next few and we spent $51 total on Thanksgiving. We spent it just the four of us in the living room all sitting at the coffee table together. The kids loved it. Especially the pumpkin pie.
Today we watched movies all day while Chris slept, since last night was his Monday. We watched Willow & Labyrinth and Wallace and Gromit in The Curse of the Were-rabbit. We colored pictures and danced. I caught Lylith doing yoga today.
Taven has taken to using his potty over night and hasn't used a diaper in over a week. Lylith is still on the fence about whether or not she wants to use the potty and because we have awful carpet, I am at peace with that until this week when I will be devoting all time during the day to teaching her how to use the potty. I am considering getting her her own potty chair for her room for when she can control her temper.. 'cause otherwise the walls will be painted with poo, she's quite the viper.
Last week I wanted so badly to quit my job, I could hardly stand it. I was convinced I was going to write for one of these websites offering pay to amateurs and live off of that. After a week of thinking it over I am glad I am still here. I am disappointed that it is not as easy as I had anticipated to make money off of such things, but I have a genuine concern for my client.. he has had so much upheaval lately. I would feel awful if I had to contribute to that any more than I already have.
I have had to cancel two appointments in the last few weeks for respite care. Both were nearly an hour's drive and it just isn't worth what my pay has been reduced to- not to take two hours out of my day for driving that I will need for school. I hate it because I am getting work and essentially turning it down but it just isn't fitting in where I need it to.
This week I am not so pessimistic. This week I have a new perspective.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. (=
Saturday, November 20, 2010
emit to relieve encumerance
Pompous. As you so hate, so you are.
To look down on my passion, ignore my epiphany, chortle supremely at my fascination...
Your mind will fester in bordem,
For you are satiated by few senses.
Rot. For your spirit slumbers.
Perchance, you will open your mind's eye in another present and find yourself quite engaged.
To look down on my passion, ignore my epiphany, chortle supremely at my fascination...
Your mind will fester in bordem,
For you are satiated by few senses.
Rot. For your spirit slumbers.
Perchance, you will open your mind's eye in another present and find yourself quite engaged.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Redline, Mechanic Nightmare, WV
This blog is brought to you by: Houston auto repair: http://repairpal.com/houston-auto-repair Howdy to my friends in TX and RepairPal.com!!
I used to have a big, beautiful Ram van 1500. It was maroon and it was spacious and convenient. It ran great unless the weather was inclement(read: there was snow on the ground). Eventually we needed repairs on the brake lines. I know nothing of mechanics and was looking for something cheap and close.
Looking for a new vehicle? Acura TL: http://repairpal.com/acura-tl-1999
I went to Redline in Harpers Ferry, WV, because they were the closest and the cheapest. It turns out they were the cheapest for a reason. I needed oil and brake fluid put in when I went there. My husband watched the mechanic put oil in the brake fluid reservoir and another mechanic stop him and inform him. When all was "right" we drove off to run some errands and were quickly back at the mechanic because of the smell and the fact that applying the brakes was LITERALLY burning my leg.
How about an oil change: http://repairpal.com/engine-oil-filter-change
This persisted another time, until we decided a Chrystler dealer might be our only hope. Come to find out this van we still owed $900 on now has an entirely corroded brake system because of the motor oil mishap and to fix it would be over 3 grand. Needless to say we relied on others for transportation for about 6 months. It was a horrifically trying 6 months at that.
Don't neglect a brake job: http://repairpal.com/brake-rotor-replacement
The moral of THIS story is: don't trust a random mechanic. Do some research! Try RepairPal.com
I used to have a big, beautiful Ram van 1500. It was maroon and it was spacious and convenient. It ran great unless the weather was inclement(read: there was snow on the ground). Eventually we needed repairs on the brake lines. I know nothing of mechanics and was looking for something cheap and close.
Looking for a new vehicle? Acura TL: http://repairpal.com/acura-tl-1999
I went to Redline in Harpers Ferry, WV, because they were the closest and the cheapest. It turns out they were the cheapest for a reason. I needed oil and brake fluid put in when I went there. My husband watched the mechanic put oil in the brake fluid reservoir and another mechanic stop him and inform him. When all was "right" we drove off to run some errands and were quickly back at the mechanic because of the smell and the fact that applying the brakes was LITERALLY burning my leg.
How about an oil change: http://repairpal.com/engine-oil-filter-change
This persisted another time, until we decided a Chrystler dealer might be our only hope. Come to find out this van we still owed $900 on now has an entirely corroded brake system because of the motor oil mishap and to fix it would be over 3 grand. Needless to say we relied on others for transportation for about 6 months. It was a horrifically trying 6 months at that.
Don't neglect a brake job: http://repairpal.com/brake-rotor-replacement
The moral of THIS story is: don't trust a random mechanic. Do some research! Try RepairPal.com
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